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Re: New to Board: Frustrated with Lamictal BarbaraCat

Posted by katia on May 24, 2004, at 2:49:15

In reply to Re: New to Board: Frustrated with Lamictal katia, posted by BarbaraCat on May 24, 2004, at 0:45:22

>>Very soothing. If you still have the tapes, be interesting to check'em out again.

**Yes, I will when I unpack everything someday soon.

> About the hell you were in. You mentioned you had some terrible experiences after Scotland that led to some dark times. Was this a first time trigger or had it been brewing in other forms?

Oh boy. Long story. Let's just say that my cycles became cyclical (redunant I know); more and more obvious every time and the same circumstances happening each time. But everything being wayyyy more intense each time. So I guess you could say this past time was my rock bottom b/c it was worse because "here we go again, here again when I thought I'd evolved from here" and b/c the crashes get harder as we age I think. (until treatment is implemented). I only sought out a dx and treatment just after this time. I lived in the dark for a long time. Blind to my patterns and cycles. In retrospect, I would have mainly dysthymia, hypomania, disasterous results from (normally an affair and then pregnancy) dealing with the pregnancy (and I say this b/c I know you in cyber terms at least, it was the end of the world for me everytime), and the inevitable crash HARD into a MAJOR depression, and stay there for a good year and then lifts a bit, mild depression, then zippity do da, zippity day, my ole my what a wonderful day! And then crash....but the despair just got worse each time and the suicidal tendencies became greater and the self-inflicting harm got worse. In retrospect, I can actually laugh at how crazy I was in Scotland. I was a classic "nutter".

But enough of that! So in short, yes, I've dealt with this all my life, with it getting progressively worse where I finally couldn't ignore it anymore and sought out help.
and you? How long ago did you seek out help for meds for the first time?

> **Funny you should ask. I thought you were the one who turned me onto it. But maybe it was a link from the DSI website. Its very good. Here ya go:

I was. I just didn't know the sensitive website.

> Thanks for introducing me to this new way of looking at things. I like 'highly sensitive person' so much better than the other labels. It gives a sense of hope and even pride ("Yo, I'm not weird, I'm 'highly sensitive' and you should be so lucky!").

me too. The thing that makes sense to me is meds are addressing and supporting my symptoms of that. And that's ok for me.

> BTW, are you still working in the wine restaurant? Probably not with all the other stuff going on. At least I hope not with all the other stuff going on!

YOu know!? I am. And I"m working TWO jobs now as well! I've been so crazy busy. But I"m doing ok relatively speaking. I've changed soooo much in the past four or so months. I feel like I'm coming into my own finally. It's hard and I feel scared, but it's good. I am on meds, but that's ok. It's my support.

> **You betcha. Keep me posted about your friend. He's now officially on my prayer list. Here's to God helping those who are willing to help themselves. - Barbara

I'm sure he'd appreciate that Barbara. Thanks.
He's family is amazing BTW. I lived w/ his Mom and DAd for two years about five years ago in petaluma on a farm. It was wonderful. I'm best friends now w/ his cousin as well. similar travel experiences.

If you're ever in Cal. we should meet up.
My thoughts are with you.




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