Posted by katia on May 20, 2004, at 23:16:26
In reply to Re: New to Board: Frustrated with Lamictal » katia, posted by BarbaraCat on May 20, 2004, at 22:35:01
**That's great news about the house and school. Last time we chatted you were about to move in and start school. Keeping busy is a great as long as you're not struggling with an impending breakdown, eh? Probably a good thing you've got the med support right now until things are more steady state.
>>I know - good news, but too stressful right now to enjoy that good news. impending breakdown is what caused me to go on Paxil. don't know if it's doing any damn good. At least I'm functioning, but very precariously. I'm having to play landlady to two housemates as well and housekeeper/manager; something I've never done before. Mowing the lawn? what's that? And this lawn was so immacuately manicured, already half the flowers have died even tho' I'm watering like crazy everyday. Heat waves...Also got to find FOUR clients by mid-June for this Life coaching program. I ain't ready!!!!! You can imagine all the issues that come up around that - anxiety, I'm no good, I'm stupid, what can I do to "help" anyone? etc. etc. AND WHEN? do I find the time? yikes.....
power of now, power of now, deep breath...**I go up and down. I'm really glad I'm off meds cause the down times are more quiet and manageable and not bezerk like they were before.
>>That's so interesting that your downs are more quiet and manageable w/o meds. I'm wondering about all these bipolar stuff. I've been reading a lot lately about Sensory Integration Disorder (SID or DSI) and also reading a book called "The Highly Sensitive Person" and god how I can relate to this more than the bipolar thing. I wonder if my bipolar thing is a symptom of SID/DSI. The Paxil and Trileptal help manage my overstimulated nervous system and quell the anxiety, at least I hope so, my anxiety is still really there. My immune system is down, I can tell because of a rare "cold sore" I get once every two years when I'm REALLY run down. I feel really tired a lot. Maybe Paxil? And dizziness and headaches. If you want to know more about DSI, let me know and I'll pass on some info. I've been on another chat group re: DSI and it's amazing how many other people have these "wierd" sensory sensitivites (like the honkers in yoga).
**But lately I've been struggling and feeling very apart from Life. My body is really hurting, like a constant fibro ache always going on in my mind and everywhere.
>>I'm sorry to hear that. I know about physical pain in the past month - severly pulled a shoulder drilling something and got sciatica painting and pulling off wallpaper. In the midst of my pain, I really thought about and had empathy for those, like you, who suffer with chronic physical pain. Not sure which is worse - mental or physical pain as they both make every second a challenging torture. Are there any meds you can take?
**I'm going to give St. John's Wort a try again for support. I recall from a past trial that the little plant was a gentle mood brightener and did well in keeping me from the skids. I'm not there yet and don't plan on sliding in.
>>I thought St. John's acted on serotonin like ADs and bipolars should stay away from it? anyway, if you had good experiences before, then you should probably be ok with it again.
* So I'm really rooting for you and pray wonderful peaceful adventures for you w/out too many hypo-jaggies. Keep me posted. It always lifts me up to chat w/you. - BCatThanks for the support Barbara. It always lifts me when I see your names on postings too.
Warmly,
Katia
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