Posted by BarbaraCat on May 20, 2004, at 22:35:01
In reply to Re: New to Board: Frustrated with Lamictal » BarbaraCat, posted by katia on May 20, 2004, at 14:09:38
Hiya Katia,
> That's good news that you are doing well off of meds. If it hadn't been for me buying the house, restarting grad school, moving, etc. all that goes into it; I probably wouldn't have restarted meds. I am using them as support right now, but won't stay on them forever.
**That's great news about the house and school. Last time we chatted you were about to move in and start school. Keeping busy is a great as long as you're not struggling with an impending breakdown, eh? Probably a good thing you've got the med support right now until things are more steady state.
>
> How're you doing otherwise?**I go up and down. I'm really glad I'm off meds cause the down times are more quiet and manageable and not bezerk like they were before. But lately I've been struggling and feeling very apart from Life. My body is really hurting, like a constant fibro ache always going on in my mind and everywhere. I'm planning on going back to school for a few courses this summer -- I've got to do something to engage my time and mind. Just hope I don't crash and burn physically cause this fibro thing is a bitch and pulls the rug out on every long-term plan I make.
When I can manage to bring myself into the 'Now' ala Eckart Tolle, I can appreciate life for that moment. Then my mind drags me back to worry, gloom and pain. I guess that's where the spiritual practice comes in - practice. But it seems like I'm always trying, struggling to 'be here now' and just wish it would get easier. It's tempting to think my entire life is always like this, but I know it's not. I'm going to give St. John's Wort a try again for support. I recall from a past trial that the little plant was a gentle mood brightener and did well in keeping me from the skids. I'm not there yet and don't plan on sliding in.
So I'm really rooting for you and pray wonderful peaceful adventures for you w/out too many hypo-jaggies. Keep me posted. It always lifts me up to chat w/you. - BCat
poster:BarbaraCat
thread:238206
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040515/msgs/349048.html