Posted by katia on August 5, 2003, at 17:39:38
In reply to Med free and misdirect » katia, posted by Barbara Cat on August 5, 2003, at 11:51:59
If I don't catch you before you go on vacation, we'll talk when you get back. I'm not doing so well. I went from about two really good days to one where the euphoria feeling was edged with raciness and then one day to today - very agitated and irritable! I'm sick of this roller coaster ride. I just got my depakote in the mail today too. I think this swing of my mood is a sign that I need to take it. or at least give it a go. I swing too fast. It's not "normal" is it? I mean at least some people have a good month or two and then crash. I just go on an ultra rapid cycle it seems. God those two days felt so good! anyway, what's real happiness anyway? Was I happy and excited to be alive geniunely? or was I skirting hypomania? Maybe one way to find out is to try the depakote. But then what if it's just that med that's not for me and then I have to go through another year or more of finding the right one - when I am confused if I even have a mood disorder! There are so many influencing factors!
re: your conversation with Ron below -
>>I'm convinced that we need med support while we need it, but healing the deeper limbic structures require more realms of delicacy and skill than are usually available from our pdocs.
you mentioned shamanism. Have you ever been to one to try and heal the depression? I've been thinking about doing a soul retrieval for over a year. It's all so multi-layered that I'm sure everything plays a part.
anyway, the dog next door won't stop barking and I'm jumping out of my skin!
we'll talk soon, I hope.