Posted by mercedes on July 24, 2003, at 16:26:06
In reply to Daph-Effexor - what do u mean by imposter?, posted by KimberlyDi on July 23, 2003, at 17:00:51
hey, KDI in Texas,
I read your post yesterday to Daph and wanted to respond but it was past midnight and I was pretty much brain dead to find the right words or for that matter, any words. Your comment made me feel like reaching out to you right then and there.
I hadn't realized that you felt this way about yourself. That someday everybody is going to see how worthless you really are, and not like you anymore? Who is everybody? Do you mean your coworker's, family, or freinds ? What brought this on? Can you pinpoint when you started feeling like this? Did your mom or dad always tell you how you shoud look, feel etc?
I know I'm asking alot of questions, and maybe you have posted on this before, but my memory hasn't been so good lately with the attacks I get. Me personnaly, cannot relate to an eating disorder like anorexia as I have had a weight problem since I was around 8 yrs old. I do remember thinking that my life was not worth living a few times throughout my life, to the point of wanting to end it and I'm glad I didn't.
And, as I've mentioned before, being like a robot for many years (I was going to use the word "feeling" like a robot but at that time I had no, -0-, zip, feelings).
You have been a tremendous support here at this site. Your postings are "worth" something and so are YOU.
Hoping to hear more from you,
(posted by KDI)
Daph, if you feel like a failure or an imposter, realize that it's your inner negative voice trying to break you down again. I know the "imposter" feeling. I was sent to an "eating disorders" group therapy session. I saw all those pencil thin girls and almost cried, thinking I was a failure at even having an eating disorder. I wasn't overweight, by all means. But my inner voice always tells me that I am, and I have an unhealty envy of those girls who have the total willpower to starve themselves. I personally am glad you are here, regardless of your Effexor dosage.
KDi in Texas
P.S. I always feel like I'm barely "faking" it through life. That someday everybody is going to see how worthless I really am, and not like me anymore. It's hard to fight those feelings.