Posted by Susy on July 24, 2003, at 13:46:54
In reply to Re: personal thoughts » zinya, posted by CherC68 on July 24, 2003, at 12:31:13
Good morning my new cyber friends, Zinya, Mercedes, Kid-O, Kim, Theo, Willie, and specially dear Cher:
This morning when I came back to drop off my son at his work, I found out myself thinking about all of you guys! That is very good, most of the times I came back thinking about my fears and frustrations and praying to feel better this day.
I came thinking about a lot of things I want to share with you, talking about imposters, at list in the babble I don't feel an imposter, I can talk about everything I feel and think, and I know that you guys understand me perfectly. Most of the times even with my family I am trying not to make mistakes, specially in the city where I live it looks to me like everybody is always watching just waiting to see if they detect a mistake. So, thanks a lot for giving me this freedom I feel whenever I write to you girls =).
It is good that we have shared all our problems related with our anxiety, depression and panic attacks, I know, is not easy to deal with them everyday, specially for me and Cher since we can't take anti depressants as the rest of you are. So I feel that some of you are doing great, some of you are still going to work and taking your medicines, that sounds too good for me, I don't have health insurance,I don'have a pdoc,I can't work right now, either take AD's =(.
Anyways, I was thinking that we can also give our ideas of how to deal with our symptoms to try to feel better. As far as my own experiences, what I have read, and heard, (and that doesn't mean that I practice all of them, or always feel in the mood to make them)I have find that there are some good ways,
1.- Music, in any way,listening, dancing, to dance helps a lot to liberate the tension in the body and to sing helps a lot to take all the tension acumulated in the chest, so why not sing? Even if we don't do it very well.
2.- Walk, I can't run, because I start feeling short of breath of with my heart pounding very fast, but walk, it does really good, walking fast, better. Also, very good, swimm, slowly of course.
3.-Eat well. Sleep well.
4.-And the most important thing of all, I am trying to practice this every day, change our thoughts, try to control our own minds, meaning, whenever I am feeling a panic attack instead of thinking I am going to die, or I am about to faint, I think repeatdly, this is going to past, it wont last long. I'll be ok. soon.
And that goes for everything else, sometimes I do want to stay here and lay in the couch, reading, sleeping, doing anything, and suddenly one of my kids come asking me to do something or take him/her somewhere, instead of burst yelling to them that I need to rest, I try to put a smile in my face and tell myself, why not? I can make it, maybe it would be better to do something different. Obviously, this doesn't mean that is it easy, of course not, but it is good at least to try.
If you guys have another good ideas, please let me know, I will fight until the end, one day I have to stop taking Xanex, and I have to learn how to control this damn anxiety I always have so I can go back to work, and little by little find inside me the courage I used to have before.
By the way, I am not blonde anymore. I colored my hair brown yesterday, just to see a new face in the mirror.