Posted by zinya on July 24, 2003, at 9:59:30
In reply to Re: Daphnis and Zinya, everyone, posted by willie on July 24, 2003, at 7:51:18
hi Willie (and Daphnis and all),
You've made me smile at the coincidence. I too highly recommend Woititz's book (and just to let you know, Dr. Bob likes us to use a system of this website where you put a book title inside double-double quotes and it automatically finds the book in amazon and links to the page in amazon, where people can read more about it and potentially buy it -- so I'll do it here "Adult Children of Alcoholics".)
I read it myself back in the late 80's as well as its sequel "Struggle for Intimacy" and found them invaluable. As it happens, I became a family communication professor and you'd be amazed how many college kids deal with an alcoholic parent and I too routinely found myself recommending this book to students who always found it very helpful. What's so particularly good about the book, imo, is its concrete focus on specific habits of mind and language that a child of an alcoholic (or of really any kind of addictive pattern -- any '-holism') assimilates growing up and become part of our sense of "normal" but are really quite dysfunctional patterns. I think it's an invaluable and very practical book for almost anyone actually. Those who study "dysfunctional family" patterns claim that over 90% of families could be called dysfunctional, something related to why I chose that field of work because I believe so strongly in just how fundamental early childhood socialization is in the lives of all of us ... and even to society as a whole.
So, we're very much on the same page, Willie! I think originally it must have been a therapist of mine who also first turned me on to Woititz as well as a couple of other authors but she stands out because her analysis is so concrete, so full of specific examples of how we carry on inside our minds the legacy of such worldviews. By the way, I always think it's important to add that for me at least, this is not at all about scapegoating or blaming parents. They themselves grew up under dysfunctional family patterns and, until someone begins to see what it is they have 'inherited' -- which is one of the blessings of our era, that such topics are now more "out of the closet" and that there are places like this website and more access to therapy, etc. -- our parents were stumbling in the dark and also had internalized lots of dysfunctional patterns from their parents. So, imo, it's important to read and undertake such reflections with empathy for one's parents as well, rather than a sense of blame or guilt, etc.
As to what you say about your dosage levels, gosh, Willie, November seems like a long time off. It is great that your md. will use e-mail, but given your uncertainty about things (granted, i realize you're wanting to see first if a change at work alters your current concerns) but i would certainly not wait that long to put your questions to him -- about whether he considers 37.5 to be the maximal dose for your situation. It sounds like he expects you to only be on it for a few months? Since every diagnosis is unique, none of us can know why he would choose a particular dosage max. or why, but I'd try if i were you to at least put those kinds of questions to him so you feel you at least know what his thinking is more clearly about why this level and what the goal is, plus letting him know your specific symptoms as they evolve.
hope you're having a good day!
zinya
poster:zinya
thread:13781
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030723/msgs/244836.html