Posted by Peter S. on September 24, 2002, at 13:01:50
In reply to Re: Deep sadness, posted by jrbecker on September 24, 2002, at 11:42:11
Guy,
I know how you feel. I'm 41 and I've been depressed since I was 4. After 6 years of struggling with every single med in the book including MAOIs, naltrexone, t3, t4, zyprexa, all the SSRIs, tricylics, wellbutrin, and on and on, I've found that Lamictal + low dose prozac and Neurontin seem to be working. The jury's still out but I feel very encouraged.
However there is a strong feeling of waking up from a dream and realizing that a lot of my life has gone by and I've been unable to appreciate it. I've been in a fog which has effected my relationships, my career path, and every aspect of my life. I find myself alternately extremely angry and relieved. I now have to get on with my life and make up for lost time.
What I've learned is that you should never give up, though I have been tempted many times. I have thought of suicide as my only option. If my current regimen fades away, I will continue to fight because I know there is another reality besides depression.
> Sometimes I couldn't totally agree more with you Guy. But here's the bigger picture. Number 1, we're all getting older, meaning we don't have as much energy (less hormones and the like), so we don't experience the same vibrant highs that we used to have in our youth (i'm only 25 but I definitely feel my body maturing by this point). However, looking back, I also realized that a lot of this energy was negative, meaning I think I was a lot more anxious then than I am now (even though I still suffer from depression). For this I'm thankful.
>
> Number 2, and much more importantly, as everybody's touched on already, it sounds like your med regiment is not helping your anhedonia and causing even more numbness (most SSRIs did this to me as well). In terms of the SSRIs, I think celexa/lexpapro is best for not experiencing this detachment.
>
> Other ideas you might want to explore if your pdoc is open-minded:
>
> What's also worked for me is lamictal, an anticonvulsant, which I'm currently using in monotherapy (mind you, I have a dx of atypical depression, and I think it's under-rated as a therapy in the unipolar spectrum). In terms of the 'numbness' arena, it's probably been the best med I've tried that doesn't cause emotional detachment. Other possibilities in the anticonvulsant category might be neurontin (although this has less AD efficacy, but good for anxiety/sleep probs).
>
> Another route might be the MAOIs. They cause less emotional 'numbing' than most SSRIs.
>
> Good luck.
>
>
>
poster:Peter S.
thread:120891
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020922/msgs/120948.html