Posted by Mr. SadPuppyDog on September 27, 2002, at 12:20:39
In reply to Deep sadness, posted by Guy on September 23, 2002, at 23:46:12
> Does anyone else feel a constant, deep sadness about the loss of your old self (when you were feeling well and did not have to take meds)? I have been ill for over six years and now realize that true recovery is an impossible dream. I lament the loss of my energy, my creative spirit, my music, my zest for life, my joy, my life force...I was an athlete but now feel only sadness and lethargy...and envy when I see others feeling good and doing all the outdoor things I used to do. Everything has been replaced by anxiety, depression and a drugged, spaced-out feeling. I'm existing, not living.
I feel the same way as you sometimes. Even though Ive been depressed so long now Ive basically given up any real hope of being truly "normal" again. My goal is to attain my pre-depression personality along with getting normal sleep, normal sex drive, normal cognition and energy levels. I divide my life into "pre-clinical depression" and "post-clinical depression." Depression has really messed me up.I like you was very active before depression, very physically oriented and outdoorsy. Depression has messed that all up. I miss it. I also miss my old personality, which is gone. One psychologist type told me one time I was in "grieving" because of the loss of my old (normal) self after severe depression hit. Id say thats close to how I feel. Grieving. Wish I could have what I used to have back.
All I can say to you is if you havent been depressed too many years, you might want to seriously consider ECT. It might be able to restore you back to normal. But the longer you wait, the more years that go by, the lesser the chance that ECT results will be full remission and last. Six years is a long time to be clinically depressed. Im not sure what the results from ECT would be if youve been clinically depressed that long. The longer youve been clinically depressed, the stronger the brain changes become...they "set in" for good basically. Thats why its so important to kick clinical depression in the ass EARLY on, when it first hits.
Mr. Sad PuppyDog
poster:Mr. SadPuppyDog
thread:120891
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020922/msgs/121231.html