Posted by Lorraine on August 22, 2001, at 13:12:02
In reply to Re: Update Lorainne, Elizabeth, et. al. » Lorraine, posted by shelliR on August 20, 2001, at 21:32:38
> > Shelli:
> >
> > I do feel for you on this Parnate trial stuff. I figured out once that if I just kept trying drugs sequentially for the full trial period, I might well be dead without anything working. So I've become pretty insistent that some positive effects occur quickly. Anyway, when I read all of your posts in one sitting last night, it looked like it wasn't clear to you what was causing the problem (are we ever?) Sounded like maybe it was having two periods so closely spaced together and PMS in between? At one point I thought you said you felt the depression had lifted and if it weren't for the PMS stuff.... Well, it's very difficult to sort this stuff out with my own body, but at some point you made a determination that the Parnate wasn't doing it for you. Good luck getting in early. It must be terrible to be between meds. Course for me now, I suspect that I'll just pick up on the old Adderal and Neurontin combo if I need to quit Parnate. That combo really did tide me over.
>
> I looked back at my notes last week, and I never felt any anti-depressant effects from parnate--but I wasn't really expecting any so fast.This was the entry I was talking about Shelli:
"But, for instance, I didn't wake up depressed yesterday or today, so maybe it's having some sort of small effects, or it's just that my hormones aren't acting crazy."
But maybe I misread that and you were talking about oxycontin?
> > >It's hard to know when to give upSometimes it's more important to simply make a decision than to spend a lot of time angonizing over whether it is the "right" one while your life passes you by. I mean you never "know" with these things and sometimes movement is the best thing.
> > >Not that it doesn't suck either way--it feels crummy to feel bad, job or no job, I know. It's the responsibility part, and I try to convince myself that I am not building rocketships, but still it's hard to disappoint people and break promises.
I know what you are talking about Shelli--it's the very thing that prevents me from making a commitment to the future--making plans, deciding what to do--I have no idea whether I will be up to fullfilling the plans I make today when tomorrow comes--not until I'm stabilized. So even if someone without a mental illness takes times off for illness, I don't think it feels the same, and, you don't know how long you will be out of commission whereas the flu is a couple of days max. The uncertainty is part of it.
> > > The wording of the DSM-IV makes it possible to fit or not fit yourself into the category if you have alters.
I still think that you would know or feel or intuit if you were DID. Maybe the definition sucks and should include the coconscious component as a factor. I have memory gaps. Don't we all?
> > > Is it a novel that you have outlined?Yes.
>
> > > she knows that I felt she was was not being supportive; she sees it differently. I didn't go today, and I'm not sure about Thursday. After that I can't just keep canceling; I'll have to start again, or terminate for now.It seems like she views you as malingering in a sense--coming up with excuses not to do the hard work of therapy and that maybe what you need is a dose of "tough love". But sometimes we are not able to work at the job or with a therapist. I wonder if a hiatus would do you both good until you stabilize.
> > >I'll see how my pdoc session goes tomorrow.
And????? Drum roll please.... What happpened?
> > > >
> > > > Just back today from North Carolina.
> That was a long way for just a few days.The truth is I hate being away from home. Vacations bother me. I don't find them relaxing. And, when I planned the trip, I wasn't sure if I could depend on my mood.
> > > The travel, or the vacation itself?The vacation itself. I have a lot of comfort routines here at home.
> > > What is your eleven year old daughter like?She's wonderful. She has the "gift of mood"--she's upbeat, enthusiastic, bright, caring...really great. This summer she finally decided she was ready for a bra. Very big step. Lots of fun for me to watch her growing and changing. I'm hoping that her teenage years won't be too rough on us.
> >
> > PS Today Parnate was good to me.
> I think it's going to be good for you; you have all the right signs. I hope soWell, I've been having these terrible headaches when I wake up in the morning every day. So I have a call into my doctor to see if these headaches are precursors to a spontaneous hypertensive crises. I also am having trouble sleeping. My mood support though is pretty good--not home free but good. So we'll see.
poster:Lorraine
thread:67742
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010822/msgs/75952.html