Posted by AMD on May 11, 2005, at 18:33:05
In reply to ...but look at the bright side... » AMD, posted by chemist on May 11, 2005, at 17:16:31
... fortunately, Oracle is one of those beasts I have tamed quite well and thus enjoy frolicking with (perhaps not the best term).
So it's day six, and I'm hoping to improve soon, but I still feel physically and mentally ill, and decidedly less than bright. In fact, I fell less alert today than I did a few days ago, so I hope my cognition is not on the decline. I'll trust you when you said it's not, and that these drugs didn't kickstart a dive into further depressive horrors!
The plight of the gifted is that it's shocking when one actually has to apply oneself to a task, as I'm sure you're aware.
I need to give myself more credit. I hope, that is, that one night of ketamine and heavy cocaine (followed a few days after by a couple glasses of wine; yes, I was bad) won't have taken away years of learning /how/ to learn and inherently knowing /how/ to process and categorize information.
It's the executive functions I fear losing most. And my job. I am accustomed to a steady income and being broke -- isn't that the curse of bipolar. Not two dozen snake-bite kits: my conpulsive spending is on books and CD's. But obviously, I'd be homeless without my job.
So that's scaring me to death right now. I'm afraid to pick up a book for fear I'll be unable to read it (and thus from a guy who loves to read). So you can imagine how this affects me given the stresses of the office.
So, again, I hope this passes soon.