Posted by sunny10 on April 13, 2005, at 10:33:49
In reply to Re: Life After Addictions » mynamehere, posted by Larry Hoover on April 9, 2005, at 12:06:54
you wrote;
Allow me to introduce myself. I am the disease of addiction. Cunning, baffling and powerful, that's me. I have killed millions and I am pleased. I love to catch you with the element of surprise. I live, pretending I am your friend and lover. I have given you comfort, have I not? Wasn't I there when you were lonely? When you wanted to die, didn't you call me? I was there. I love to make you hurt. I love to make you cry. Better yet, I love when I make you so numb you can neither hurt nor cry. You can't feel anything at all. This is true glory. I will give you instant gratification, and all I ask of you is long-term suffering. I've been there for you, always. When things were going right in your life, you invited me. You said you didn't deserve these good things, and I was the only one who would agree with you. Together we were able to destroy all good things in your life.People don't take me seriously. They take strokes seriously, heart attacks seriously. Even diabetes, they take seriously. Fools that they are, they don't know that without my help these things would not be made possible."
And all I can do is cry, because everything in that is what my addicted significant other did to me before trying to strangle me while drunk in a hotel room in New Orleans on the second night of our five day-planned mini-vacation. I flew home that night and am now homeless. An addicted person and a co-dependent; I was trying to reform- he wasn't.
His addictions to coke and alcohol have not even let him apologize to me at all- about hurting me, scaring me, ending the relationship, or making me homeless as I am now too scared to stay in my house becuase he has said violence is acceptable in his opinion.
For any of you who ever want to be able to love- please try to get out from under your addictions...at some point the regrets will come and you will know that you destroyed someone like me.....
I mean that generally- not to anyone specifically...crap, I'm sorry if what I said could be construed as uncivil...
poster:sunny10
thread:471016
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20050323/msgs/483698.html