Posted by Larry Hoover on April 9, 2005, at 12:06:54
In reply to Life After Addictions, posted by mynamehere on March 14, 2005, at 17:47:01
> How does one learn to know their limits after addiction? I'm grieving the loss of my past and I feel like such a loser.
One learns to know their limits by doing, not thinking.
"You can't think your way into a new way of acting. You must act your way into a new way of thinking."
You must behave differently to obtain different outcomes. That is the proof your brain will use, so it can think differently.
One of the most inspirational pieces I have, is this one. Author unknown.
I am Your Addiction.
I hate meetings. I hate Higher Powers. I hate anyone who has a program. To all who come in contact with me, I wish you death and I wish you suffering.
Allow me to introduce myself. I am the disease of addiction. Cunning, baffling and powerful, that's me. I have killed millions and I am pleased. I love to catch you with the element of surprise. I live, pretending I am your friend and lover. I have given you comfort, have I not? Wasn't I there when you were lonely? When you wanted to die, didn't you call me? I was there. I love to make you hurt. I love to make you cry. Better yet, I love when I make you so numb you can neither hurt nor cry. You can't feel anything at all. This is true glory. I will give you instant gratification, and all I ask of you is long-term suffering. I've been there for you, always. When things were going right in your life, you invited me. You said you didn't deserve these good things, and I was the only one who would agree with you. Together we were able to destroy all good things in your life.
People don't take me seriously. They take strokes seriously, heart attacks seriously. Even diabetes, they take seriously. Fools that they are, they don't know that without my help these things would not be made possible.
I am such a hated disease, and yet I do not come uninvited. You choose to have me. So many have chosen me over reality and peace.
More than you hate me, I hate all of you who have a twelve-step program. Your program, your meetings, your Higher Power. All weaken me and I can't function in the manner I am accustomed to!
Now I must lie here quietly. You don't see me, but I am growing, bigger than ever. When you only exist, I may live. When you live, I only exist. But I am here....and until we meet again, IF we meet again - I wish you death and suffering.