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Re: If he calls me sexy Deneb

Posted by SLS on June 2, 2009, at 6:33:21

In reply to If he calls me sexy, posted by Deneb on June 2, 2009, at 1:01:38

> If he calls me princess and sexy, does that mean he wants to be more than friends?
> I kind of find it creepy when he calls me that in his emails. I just want to be friends.

I think Garnet has offered sound advice. I think she has also captured the seriousness of this matter.

My ex-girlfriend has been looking for romance on the Internet. She has had a few dates, but nothing has come of them. I have not participated in this activity, but it seems to me that she is doing so in a healthy way. She will correspond with a potential match for a few weeks before agreeing to a meeting. The date is always in a public place. If she is not interested in him, she discontinues any further correspondence. SHE DOES NOT INVITE FRIENDSHIP. There is no script in society that says that you must make yourself available as a friend to every person whom you have a date with. Wouldn't that be a silly thing to do if you really think about it? I think one needs to learn how to say "No". This can be a tremendously hard thing to do if you have never done it before. It is a sign of weak boundaries. I think this lesson is one worth learning. The first few times you say "NO" are the hardest. It gets easier and easier the more times you do it. Remember, saying "NO" to someone else actually means saying "YES" to Deneb.

Is the friendship thing a guilt thing? Is it an I don't know how to say NO thing? Is it an I don't want to hurt anyone thing?

I don't know.

- Scott




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