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Re: Thanks everyone for your advice. Deneb

Posted by Kath on June 3, 2009, at 21:06:32

In reply to Thanks everyone for your advice., posted by Deneb on June 3, 2009, at 11:34:48

> I sent out a firm but I think kind email to first guy (aka rich guy) saying I wanted no more than a distant friendship.
>
> I will politely let go of all the guys I am not interested in or attracted to.


~ ~ ~ Hi Deneb, You got LOTS of good advice. I agree with every single bit of it.

I'm glad to hear your decision. I would be much "gladder" to hear that you have decided to join some groups (real live people ones) of people who share the same interests as you - or even groups of something that you want to see if you're interested in - photography; volleyball; ANYthing - or a church group - or volunteer for a cause that interests you or that you admire.

Even though my own daughter met her fiance (who she lives with) online, & I know at least 2 other people who met their partner or spouse online & they're happy - even though that, I think it's a WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY better idea to meet real live people who ARE what they are & you can SEE them!!!! I mean they still might be pretending to be something that they're not, but I think it's much less likely.

And the thing about being in groups, is that you can enjoy whatever group it IS. AND you would have something in common with anyone you met there! I think it's such an astonishingly good idea that I wonder when people choose online stuff instead.

Deneb, do you have any specific interests?

Is there anything that you'd like to find out more about?

(As an aside, Scott asked some pretty important questions I thought.)

Is there any reason NOT to try to find a way to meet real people IRL? How do you feel about that? Nobody would even know that you're interested in meeting somebody.

I sincerely wonder whether or not your mother's pressure about 'getting married' & all that stuff she said to you has resulted in you feeling that you have to get on with it, so to speak.

As you should be able to tell from the above thread, a LOT of people care VERY much about you. I'd really hate to see you get messed up.

Ya know, meeting people actually, physically, you can get a lot of information. You can 'read' their body language. You can see if they're looking at you as you speak; you can get a sense of if they are impatiently waiting for you to finish speaking so THEY can get THEIR turn to speak. You can see if you think they're cute - you can know if you find them attractive.
You get NONE of that online. NONE of it!!!!! In real life, you get to see if the guy is glancing at other girls while you're having coffee together & supposedly getting to know each other. Online, you don't know what he's doing while he's talking to you!!

Even though you did NOT ask me Deneb - you certainly were reaching out. I think that you have enough stressors in your life. Why make meeting somebody into a stressor?????????
Why not just decide to enrich your life - there are so many things to explore.....why not find out what groups there are locally & meet some people - male & female; all ages; - each person knows other people....who knows you might get to know people & they invite you somewhere - who knows you might go to somebody's barbeque & meet someone who's really neat - really fun - really interesting.

SO - sorry for blabbing on & on. I suspect you 'get my drift'.

MANY hugs, love, Kath

PS - you do NOT need to worry about peoples' feelings getting hurt when you are telling YOUR needs.

xoxo K

 

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