Posted by TexasChic on July 17, 2008, at 20:11:11
In reply to Re: Thanks, it went terribly » TexasChic, posted by Kath on July 17, 2008, at 14:36:12
Thanks yall. Actually its when she writes me up that there will be an HR person present. This was a meeting I asked for. Even though I feel she is the problem, I thought some things may have been exasperated by the ADD stuff. So I thought by sharing it and asking for her help, it might be a situation in which she could still feel superior, by helping poor little me. Obviously THAT didn't happen, but I still think it was a good plan.
Today was weird, she was really mean & I cried the whole first half, but after I had a meeting with HR that I had requested, I realized what was worrying me the most was the thought that I might do something wrong and get fired on the spot. But it turns out it doesn't quite work that way. It all has to go through HR. So after that, I felt way less vunerable, and even though she totally bitched me out for something, I was like, okay, okay, I'll never do it again, okay. THEN weirdly enough, she started being nice again! I was like, whatever, psycho bitch.
I still don't know how long I can hang in there. Although I feel fine now, this morning I had to fight the urge to walk out. It was a terrible, hopeless, all encompassing panicky feeling. I felt I just might go running down the halls screaming or something.
Oh, the thing I got in trouble for I had written an email to the next level boss but hadn't sent it because I wanted to take a few days to think about it, but while I was reading it over she came up behind me! I don't know if she say who it was to or if she just thought I was reading personal email, but she said she, "Highly suggests I not do something like that again". So I went ahead and sent it. I really don't know what I've got to lose at this point. I mean, I'm not doing anything wrong, I'm following the chain of command. And I really just told him about the problems I was having and asked if he would give me some advice. So we'll see what happens. The drama continues... God, what stupid boring storyline this would be!