Posted by TexasChic on July 19, 2008, at 21:45:33
In reply to Re: 90 Days to get another job » TexasChic, posted by Kath on July 19, 2008, at 20:45:26
> Dear TC,
> I am so proud of you for sticking up for yourself in the meeting. Obviously, I'm sorry you had to go through it all & that you have to deal with such a person as your 'boss'.
Thanks Kath! I was proud of myself too. I'm so glad I was over being upset by the time it happened, and able to handle it in the way I wanted to without my emotions taking over.
> I SO hope that you get the University job. It would be wonderful for you to get out of the current job REALLY quickly.
That would be almost too good to be true!
>How soon (in answer to their 1 question) could you start? Can you give 2 weeks' notice? or what is your situation?
I can give two weeks notice, but I don't really want to!
> I hope you keep your excitement about looking for a job. The FACT (yes, FACT) that you got that reply from the Univ. shows you that you have skills/experience that are valued. Even if you don't get the job, I hope you absorb (like a sponge) the important 'feedback' that you have value that's being recognized. And keep your confidence up - you've told us you're good at your job; work hard, etc. Please don't loose that knowledge about yourself.
Thank you! I think I will maintain that excitement now that I have finally been about to let go of the dream of my current job. Its just not what I thought it was. Did I mention that I went to the doctor on the premises at work, who is not employed by my employer, and when I told her what was going on she said she has heard this type of thing many many times from other patients? She said she believes its common at this company to use 'scare tactics'.
> Am I right in interpreting the situation this way: you filed a "confidential" report & within days she 'wrote you up'??? The's how I perceived it....& if so - makes ya wonder what they think "confidential" means!!
Yeah, but I knew she was planning to write me up for about two months. I could just tell by the way she was acting and keeping copies of every mistake I made. I actually think she may be completely ignorant to the fact that I complained about her.
> Anyway, I think going in to work day to day will be hell! Maybe for now, you can "act as if" (in your own mind) you're going to get the Univ. job (or one just as good if not better) - that you are a damned good worker & have good skills, etc & that you're just going day-to-day where you are until you get the job where they'll really value you, etc. Sort of have it like a little secret in YOUR mind - that you know this & they DON'T.
That's exactly what I was thinking! I'm going to try to do just that.
> Yes - as to assertiveness possibly bringing forth anger. My experience with blossoming assertiveness was that it was sort of like a pendulum....my pendulum had been over at one side, then instead of swinging to the middle & sitting there, it swung over the the other side (more like a little agressiveness than assertiveness) then sorta settled back more in the middle. There are still times when I can be on either side of middle, but more times when I'm nearer the middle.
Yes, I've found that to be my experience as well. Then I end up feeling guilty for 'overreacting'. I'm trying to stop doing that though (both overreacting as well as feeling guilty when I do).
> I send my support & love, Kath
Thank you, it means so much to me. I have little support IRL, especially since I've lost my one true confindant, my coworker who also works under my boss. There is a lady at work who has been standing by me and listening when I need it. She holds the same position as I do, and she and the other lady in that position have been very supportive all along. They are both very assertive and get angry at how my boss treats me. I have tried to keep it all to myself and not discuss it amongst the other employees, but they witness things and come to me and try to help. They've also been the most trustworthy if not the closest friends I've made there. I have also talked to my mom about it lately. She is not much help advice wise, but she will listen and comiserate.