Posted by ClearSkies on August 8, 2007, at 21:14:30
I went to a benefit this evening for a local dance instructor I know. She and I never hit it off - the last time I attempted a lesson with her I sat in my car and cried for an hour afterwards because I felt so out of my depth with her. I think she really pushed me hard, to see what my level of expertise is (which is somewhere between "beginner" and "intermediate" it turns out), and I wasn't up to any kind of challenge at the time. If anything, I'm less agile at the moment, but very passionate. But the teacher is an amazing performer. Self employed. Diagnosed with breast cancer, she's had a mastectomy and will be undergoing reconstructive surgery and chemotherapy. All without any health insurance. Hence the benefit evening. The restaurant was packed, and I'm glad I went.
So I talked a friend of mine into coming with me - there's no way I would have gone alone. I made a donation and we stayed for a while to watch some of the performers. They were all very curvy and heavy set women, and for the 10th time today I felt like crying. I wanted to dance too, and maybe I can. Just maybe. If someone can look like those beautiful women did and stand up with such self confidence and grace and perform, then maybe I can shake my bigger booty again.
I'm glad I went, and I'm surprised that it affected me the way it did. But dance has always struck me very deeply. Perhaps I am not being true to myself that I have cut myself off from dance during my fight with depression.
Maybe tomorrow I will dance, by myself, in my home. I will check back and report on whether or not I do.
cs
poster:ClearSkies
thread:774939
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20070803/msgs/774939.html