Posted by Kath on July 26, 2007, at 15:46:43
In reply to Re: Tips on DETACHMENT re:Kids? Son'sRehabIntake e, posted by Sigismund on July 25, 2007, at 18:47:46
> Hello Kath
>
> My nice doctor was talking about some mind f*ck-up someone had and remarked that he thought it might take a generation or two to work itself out.......That's actually an interesting way to see it, isn't it!!....
> Apart from taking the long view, how can you possibly detach from the sufferings of your children?.........yes; good point to remember....that this is ONE day in life...in mine & his. Who knows what will come of it or what the purpose is. It helps to know that it's all part of the huge picture.
> And it cuts the other way too.
> When my mother had agitated depression and I was her main contact in the world, I became convinced that it was important to feel her despair, not try to lessen it, which she would have made impossible anyway. That is to say, I took her (so called) depression to be (shall we say) a kind of theatre that was designed to communicate intense anguish. I could either allow this, or I could fight it, and I'm very glad I allowed it.
> It was the most painful thing I have ever experienced, but through/after it I had the best time I'd ever had with her.
>
> Does this seem at all relevant?......yes it does, but you must be a pretty amazing person. I HATE pain SO much. Whether it's physical or emotional. I don't know how you managed to do it Declan. Both my parents died when I was in my 20's, so it's a whole other issue that I hadn't even thought about....the kids' view of parents' suffering.
How are you doing these days?
I send you hugs & thanks for your caring.
luv, Kath
poster:Kath
thread:771933
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20070707/msgs/772147.html