Posted by laima on October 10, 2006, at 11:11:29
In reply to Re: Excuse me for butting in....no offence intended. » ronaldo, posted by Karen44 on October 7, 2006, at 14:19:38
Actually! I just remembered some good advice I got from a brilliant therapist who I saw during college. My mom was nagging me about 10 bazillion things that I was doing wrong, constantly. I used to argue back. This therapist sugested I try to diffuse and "turn her off" nicely, like this:Mom: Remember! No drugs or promiscuity! You are there to study! Study! What are we paying for?? No fooling around! Are you eating enough? Are you wearing enough makeup! You look too pale to me. Remember, you are not there to socialize! Stay away from drugs! Stay away from those hippies and punks! (etc.)
Me, before: Shut up, I know what I am doing, you have no idea what it is like, I can do what I want (etc.)
Me after: Oh, hmm. Yes, hmm, very interesting, hmm. (etc.)
The "after" effect was that before long, mom felt ridiculous, failed to get any argument or heat going, and the "conversations" fizzled into something much calmer and benign.
poster:laima
thread:691924
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20061005/msgs/693554.html