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bah humbug

Posted by alexandra_k on December 27, 2005, at 4:07:28

well... after all the threads of christmas / holiday cheer i thought i'd have a grumble...

i hate christmas
loathe and detest it
yeah lets feed our faces and buy each other gifts we don't really need
while other people starve to death and die of such complicated things as dehydration

sigh.

yah

christmas makes me feel all grumpy.

the worst of it is deciding between seeing the family and telling them 'gee ta but i'd rather be by myself thanks very much' but who am i kidding you just can't avoid it and even spent by oneself you just feel miserable...

i hate it.

i guess things are just fine when you have family...

i dunno

its my absolute worst time of year. but once again... its over now. it is over, thank god.

and the best part of this time of year is that it is oh so far away from the next bloody round.

communication failure

yeah lets go and listen to the scripts
people don't converse they talk in scripts
'the trouble with asian immigrants is that...'
'the trouble with young people today is that...'
'a womans place is in the home...'
'my house is better than yours'
'my car is better than yours'
'my dog is better than yours'

the b*llshit
the trying to achieve self esteem by being better than
and the inevitable hurt feelings and crushed egos when someone has something you lack
(which is inevitable in some respect)

it used to be better
yeah you win i lose
are you happy now???
yup, you bet
and then...
assuming they will bother to give me the time of day
things can actually be quite pleasant.
but increasingly...
my achievements are bandied about
and the best course of action...
is the 'yeah thats right i have no common sense whatsoever'
'yeah, thats right of course you would do far better than me if you wanted to do that'
'yeah, of course its a fairly useless thing to be doing anyway'
'yeah of course you work much harder than me'
placate them
otherwise i'm only going to get angry

they don't listen to me anyway
i'm younger than them
and as if that wasn't enough i'm female

well f*ck them
f*ck them

i'm outta here
its not about me being better than them
its about them being so f*cking closed minded
its about them not accepting me
not coming to understand a f*cking thing about who i am and what is important to me
they don't see anything
they don't f*cking want to
well f*ck them
i'm outta here
and i hope to god i never have to do this again.

 

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poster:alexandra_k thread:592374
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20051225/msgs/592374.html