Posted by ramsea on October 7, 2005, at 2:39:39
In reply to Re: Suicidal thoughts again, posted by jerrympls on October 6, 2005, at 22:14:55
Jerry, i am sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time. Sarah offered some excellent ideas. There is definitely hope for your life. It sounds like you are reaching out for help which is a really good sign that there's a part of you that longs for a good and fulfilled life.
You can have that life, you do need to have the support of others in society and eventually when you are sleeping well and feeling healthier, you will be able to support others. Even very unwell people can offer support to others through sites like this and even through giving a crisis line worker a reason to answer the phone and talk to suicidal, exhausted or lonely person!!
I've been on both sides--been the person helped and the helper, and I know that it is much easier to be the helper, and that helpers wouldn't exist if people didn't need help!! So never be afraid to look for appropriate help from trustworthy helpers. There's a suicidal site on PB--have you tried it? There's on-line Samaritans to try too--and others. And keep writing here.
You've raised important life issues like what to do to make money when you feel so awful? When you may have a mental/physical condition that makes the "it's only a job" work world seem impossibly daunting? Sarahs responses were very good. Keep looking outside the box. And forgive the pun, but when you can afford it, into the box! Until then you can approximate light box help by walking out into the sunlight during some small part of the time you are presently sleeping. Somehow you can do this--in little improvements.
I've found that sleep clinicians usually advise over the long-term, "baby step" improvements. First day, for even weeks at a time, (just for a possible example) you only stay awake until light is bright, that's all, and walk in it or at least stare from a window closely out into it, for 15 mins-30 mins. Then follow your usual sleep patttern. Over many months, you could find yourself slowly but surely progressing into a more healthy sleep routine. But in any case, even if you sleep odd hours compared to the norm, you do need to get at least one hour of outside sunlight and fresh life-giving oxygen in your system, to improve your sleep/health.
In addition, i'd suggest what was suggested to me--that you put your recovery from this sleep (and for me mental health) problem first. If creativity is important to you, ***you*** need to be there to fulfill your goals. To be there in vibrant mind body and spirit---half awake and upset brains won't be at their best, not for long.
Personally, I would offer myself up to any sound, safe techniques to heal this sleep disorder. I would consider suggestions that tempted me and try them with honesty and determination. And seek more mental health, social and if you like it, spiritual health options in the Madison area (and on-line or in library books--Robert Peck's "A Road Less Traveled" is a good one). Madison has a wonderful reputation for well-educated people, so I know there must be some who offer good social support and counseling for the person in reduced economic circumstances.
Jerry, if you are sleeping poorly that could cause mental health problems, or it could be the other way round. For me it has been both at times, one disorder compounding the other. Although I used to adore working on my art in the wee hours, then sleeping during the day (and missing the hectic ordinary day world) I submit to a sleep routine that has been suggested to me in order to control my bipolar mood swings.
Nightime sleep, and daytime activity, has and does help control the depth of my mood cycles. Medication helps me sleep and evens out moods, but I also exercise daily indoors and out, use my light box, and follow other healthy habits most of the time. All of this helps a lot.
Also, I do use mental health therapies and personal (spiritual) development thoughts and techniques to help me straighten out my thinking. It's been a good few years since I've had a major episode requiring emergency treatment. I believe putting my recovery first and my creativity and social life second has empowered me to survive. Lots of energy to you, ramsea
poster:ramsea
thread:559269
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050929/msgs/563970.html