Posted by Sarah T. on October 6, 2005, at 23:26:11
In reply to Re: Suicidal thoughts again, posted by jerrympls on October 6, 2005, at 22:14:55
Hi Jerry,
Forgive me if I'm confusing you with someone else, but I think I remember that you are a musician although your paid employment was not in music? If you are the person I'm thinking of, is it possible to try to find some other musicians in the city you're in now, and get together for chamber music? And, until you are gainfully employed in a job you want, could you give private music lessons? At least you could schedule those when it's convenient for you, rather than having to teach at the crack of dawn. If you teach school-aged children, you probably wouldn't be able to do that until after school (about 3:00 p.m.) anyway, which is closer to your circadian pattern.
Could you go to the local public and private schools and give your name and resume as someone who is available to give private lessons? You could also look into the music schools in the area to see whether they need another teacher.
As far as other types of employment, I do think that when you are regularly employed, your circadian rhythms will improve somewhat. People like you and me and quite a few others here will probably always struggle with our internal clocks, but I have to admit that my schedule does improve slightly when I am into a regular routine. Of course, that routine often disintegrates on the weekends and holidays, when I don't HAVE to be some place the following morning. I make it more difficult for myself by not maintaining the exact same schedule from day to day.
Until you are in the job you really want, giving music lessons will bring in some income and keep you in contact with people. Also, if possible, it would probably be a good idea to get at least a part-time job during the day to force you into a less depressing circadian pattern. Try not to apply for a job that starts at 8 or 9 a.m. Try to find something that starts in the late morning or early afternoon so that getting there on time won't be quite so daunting. The kind of job I'm talking about does NOT have to be your dream job right now. It just has to be something that will bring in some money, keep you in touch with real, live human beings, and force you to get out of bed earlier.
I think that changing my circadian rhythms is one of the most difficult tasks, but a few things do help a little. One thing is to have a job or other commitment like school that forces you into a regular pattern of having to be up at a particular time.
Using a lightbox also helps, especially during the fall and winter. Even 15 minutes is probably better than not using it all.
Regular exercise, as early in the day as possible also helps me. I'd say that exercise helps more than anything else, but, for me, I MUST do it as early in the day as possible. Although I know many people who exercise late in the day and have no problems sleeping at night, that doesn't work for me. The later I exercise, the later I go to bed, regardless of when I get up in the morning.
Unfortunately, although I'm addicted to late-night Internet reading and late-night TV, those two habits are probably the WORST things for us. The lights from the TV and computer are known to interfere with melatonin, and some of us are more vulnerable to disruption of circadian rhythms than others. Also, for some reason, late at night, I tend to hang onto the Internet and/or TV, even if the TV program (or Internet content) isn't all that interesting. There's just something about late-night hours that makes it difficult to turn it off. It probably has something to do with loneliness. Sometimes, late at night, I'll watch programs that I would never watch earlier in the day. I seem to have more self-discipline during the day and evening.
I hope these suggestions are helpful.
poster:Sarah T.
thread:559269
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050929/msgs/563932.html