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Re: Don't know what to make of this

Posted by Deneb on June 1, 2005, at 16:04:16

In reply to Deneb, I replied to you over on Social..:-) » Deneb, posted by 10derHeart on May 31, 2005, at 11:46:28

I'm angry after seeing my family doctor...I really think she's a little crazy. Appointments with her are always sooo long...mine was almost an hour today. It would be nice if she were actually being productive during that time, but she just goes on and on and on about useless stuff.

I really think I told her everything...but she doesn't agree that I need to use a med to control myself when I'm extremely upset. Then she went on about how medicine is an art form and how just because a med is right for other people doesn't mean it is right for me. Then she took out a Better Homes and Garden magazine and told me that I should take up scrapbooking like she does. She told me she likes to go home after a busy day and cut out pictures of clouds and flowers and birds...she suggested I do the same. She also told me to go do some gardening, and painting when I'm enraged and suicidal...what the bleep! She doesn't understand me at all!

I then asked her about how I can get some DBT...she told me that only Americans have services like that (just as I had suspected)...Canada doesn't have enough money put into services like those. She then told me that I had better stick with the p-doc I've got right now because no p-docs will see me once the word "suicidal" is mentioned...this is true BTW, this happened the first time I was referred to see a p-doc...she wouldn't even see me. So...basically, the doctor just told me that there is nothing anyone can do to help me. I simply have to take up a hobby like scrapbooking or painting.

This doesn't make sense at all...how come suicidal people can't get treatment here in Canada??? I don't understand. So are my problems too big to handle or too insignificant to handle? Or is it utterly hopeless for me?...therefore I should take up scrapbooking and hope I won't kill myself??? Ahhhh! I don't get it. I was so frustrated...I felt almost like I wanted to kill something. I think bad bad thoughts sometimes...really bad.


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