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Re: me mad at me octopusprime

Posted by Emme on September 26, 2004, at 8:49:43

In reply to Re: me mad at me, posted by octopusprime on September 25, 2004, at 16:48:52

> sweet pea:
> i so strongly identify with your post. i too feel ashamed when i am nasty for no reason at all.

From your post and Jai's, I guess I'm not the only one who gets like this. It's so easy to put myself on a guilt trip.

> i feel much better now with this medication. there is some solace in the fact that it's chemical. some of it is due to my abrasive nature.

It's good that you feel better. I think some of my irritability is set off by meds that need tweaking and some may be my mood slipping just out of general worry. I need to try harder to keep my inner witch under wraps.

> do you have people that love you no matter what? or at least tolerate you, and you tolerate them in return?

A few. I've always been lucky to have not just a few close friends but a whole bunch of longtime friends who I considered pretty close. In the last few years I find myself withdrawing from them one by one. This is in part b/c they move on with their lives and I'm stalled and it's just too painful to be looking in on their lives. Now, I've been not working for too long and needing to get things going and failing and I'm ashamed of my situation and don't want to talk about it. So I don't call or write to a lot of them. I keep telling myself I will someday if I have a husband and house and child and better moods and stop hurting so much.

But I talk to a few of them semi-regularly and I have a couple of local friends I visit with. One of my oldest friends just randomly sent me a CD that I received yesterday. Sweet guy.

> i would prescribe to you at least one (1) good time, taken as needed, with the non-judgemental person/people.

Okay, done. Not talking about personal things, but we went out to enjoy the nice day.

> failing that, i would prescribe to you at least one (1) good book or movie, taken as needed.

Oaky, tried it. My movie picks ended up being weird, but at least distracting.

> emme have you been getting enough rest and fun? it sounds overly simplistic.

I try. They don't seem to be restorative enough.

> but a long walk in the woods, a hot bath, a good night's sleep, a nice long talk with a friend might help you alter perspectives a bit.

You mean my perspective isn't the one correct one in the universe? :)





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