Posted by sfmom on June 25, 2004, at 12:40:00
In reply to Re: Baby Steps » geri122, posted by LynneDa on June 25, 2004, at 11:30:41
Geri, I'm so glad to hear from you--I've missed you. In spite of the difficult situation you're in, I am really glad that you have found someone that you trust and feel comfortable with. I hope you will remain friends with this guy even if a romantic relationship doesn't work out.
But you are in a tough situation. I completely understand not wanting to put your heart on the line and risk getting hurt or left behind. I also really admire your self control, it's never been a strong suit of mine!
As far as the race issue, I know there are still a lot of people who are uncomfortable with interracial relationships. I'm white and my husband is black (and our daughter is light brown). And even in a big city like San Francisco we've encountered stupid people. It's a decision you have to make for yourself but I'd ask you to keep in mind that the reason that most people are uncomfortable is that it's not something they are used to seeing around them. So, the more examples of normal people in normal relationships that just happen to be of different races (or same sex, etc.) that people are exposed to, the more people will realize that it's just not a big deal and that we're all human and that any time people come together in love and friendship, it's a good thing. So, that's my little spiel on the subject. But like I said, it's a personal decision.
I guess your situation pretty much boils down to whether a couple of months of happiness with this guy will be worth the pain of having him leave for college in the fall. It might and it might not be worth it and you also have to decide if you think you would be able to handle it if you fall in love and he still leaves. If something like that would put you over the edge, then it might not be worth it to take the chance. BUT, if we don’t risk hurt, how would we ever fall in love and get all the wonderful things that come with it? The circumstances may differ, but this will be a decision you will be confronted with your whole life.
Whatever you decide to do, we’ll support you 100%. Please let us know a little more about this guy too! Write again soon!
Lyssa (about to no longer be SF mom because we bought a house and are moving to the suburbs! What should I change my screen name to?)