Posted by LynneDa on June 25, 2004, at 11:30:41
In reply to Re: Baby Steps, posted by geri122 on June 25, 2004, at 11:08:43
Hi sweetie, it's good to hear from you! You do have a dilemna. My first reaction was - you're right, don't get involved, he's leaving in a couple of months and the separation will hurt, plus all the complications of a long distance relationship, etc. It would be hard for me to just "be friends" for a couple of months or to keep it casual enough that it wouldn't hurt when he left.
You are such a nurturing, kind person who wants to do the right thing and that's commendable :-). Hurting others is never easy. But, you have to look longer-term and decide what is best. The easy thing to do right now is to give in and have a relationship with him. The hard thing is to say no because of any pain you might feel in the future, after he leaves.
Or, the other alternative is that maybe you two can handle a long-distance relationship and it might work out okay. It's something the 2 of you should discuss.
The race thing is hard and it's completely understandable that it would play into your decision. It's a real consideration in our culture, no matter how un-prejudiced you are personally. There are consequences of ostracization and negative comments for inter-racial couples unfortunately. I think SFMom would have something to say on this matter that would be more informed than my thoughts, though. I hope she responds!
Yes, you have been in a weakened emotional state in the past year and yes you may get yourself in a way emotionally that you could lose it over this. But, maybe this situation was given to you to prove how strong you can be. That you will work through the issues one way or another and be okay with your decision because you know whatever you decide is the best thing for the both of you.
I hope this helps somewhat! Let us know what you decide.
~ Lynne
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poster:LynneDa
thread:284151
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040619/msgs/360237.html