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Re: Dear diary May 28 » gardenergirl

Posted by Ilene on May 31, 2004, at 13:43:15

In reply to Re: Dear diary May 28, posted by gardenergirl on May 29, 2004, at 1:41:24

> Ilene,
> The dress does sound wonderful (of course I'm a less blazing redhead with blue/green eyes, so of course I would say that.)
>
> Congrats to your daughter, and to YOU for her graduating. You must be so proud.
>
I thought I replied with my thoughts on this, but now I can't find it. Maybe I didn't post it?

I seem to lack the gene for pride in events like this, but now I'm getting into it--just as a celebration. I was (still am) so self-conscious, and such a perfectionist, that nothing shy of the complete adoration of all my teachers would ever satisfy me.

I never even considered going to the prom when I was in high school. I don't think anyone I knew did. We were all countercultural hippies. I didn't even go to graduation. I still don't like massive ceremonies.

I took some pictures of my daughter. She doesn't like them. At first I didn't like them either, because she's sort of pale and dumpy. Not "sort of"--she's a little chub. But I sent one to her dad, and he replied with, "She's beautiful", and now I'm starting to see her that way too.

She said she had a great time at the prom and the afterprom.

> I think everyone has an unrequited love; mine's from 20 years ago, too. I still occasinally wonder how my life would be different if things had worked out with him, but I also think my hubbie is the one for me. But curiousity is fine. It's what you do with the knowledge you gain that can be more dangerous.
>

This is a pretty serious case. Not only was he the sexiest man on earth, and the best in bed, but he was a whole slew of things I'm not, and still want to be. It was the deepest rejection I ever experienced. I wish I could figure out how to make it go away, accept myself for what I am, and accept my life for what it's been.

> You know I didn't buy gas on May 19, the supposed gas boycott day. Of course the next day gas had jumped almost 30 cents per gallon! ARGH! I hate playing gas roulette. What day? What time of day? What station? At what point do I use too much gas trying to figure this out? AAAGH! How about universal gas prices, posted each day in the paper?
>

I don't know anything about gas boycott day.

I.


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