Posted by Emme on May 30, 2004, at 8:48:28
Hi All,
Hold on to your hats. I'm about to go flat out ballistic! Warning! Danger Will Robinson! If anyone has issues about their marital status (or lack therefore), and about the menaing of life, you should either skip this potential trigger, or we can commiserate. Here goes:
Being single bites! Society provides so much validation for being married. Store and magazines devoted to weddings. Engagement parties, showers.
We have to buy present after present and smile at event after event without ever having our turn. We're invisible. We have to buy all our own flatware and blenders. But it's not about the money - though some of those bridesmaid dresses... It's about the emotional drain. Of course I want my friends to be happy. But it's bittersweet because I'd like a drop of that happiness for myself too.They stop visiting. And then they reproduce. And then I have to smile and send baby presents and I'm glad they have their babies, but I want one of my own too.
One by one my friends have paired off, generally happily. I'm giong to be the only single one left pretty soon. I truly despair of finding a partner.
I'm not young anymore, I'm not especially pretty, I look like a raggamuffin and can't afford a new wardrobe, I've become boring, my career is stalled at best. WHO on God's green earth would marry me? I really do put my best foot forward on my rare dates.
I'm ready to die of the fear and loneliness. And howcum we try so hard to save each other and ourselves anyway? We put horses to death for being in physical agony. Why can't we be allowed to put ourselves out of our own misery? We're going to go eventually anyway. I apologize if that is a tough trigger for the suicidal among us, but if anyone has any useful answers to that, I'd be interested to hear it.
Just curious. Do y'all find me cold and unapproachable? I'm nicer in person. Really.
Okay. I'm done. Thanks for reading/listening to another one of these huge posts I come up with from time to time. I appreciate you all and I hope I didn't drag you all *too* far down.
Emme
poster:Emme
thread:352101
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040525/msgs/352101.html