Posted by LynneDa on April 14, 2004, at 11:43:51
In reply to Re: One Last Thing » LynneDa, posted by SandyWeb on April 14, 2004, at 11:14:01
Alright, alright, I give!!!! I'm crying uncle! :-) I'm glad your decision makes you feel good . . . really, I am!
You suffered hellish torture at the hands of your ex. You don't like being caged like an animal or infant in a hospital. I get it. But, I can't really believe that you're okay the way you are and that you don't want to improve your situation in some way. I am guessing you think that it's impossible. BUT on some level I think your indomitable human spirit lives on and you know it's not out of the realm of possibilities for you to get better :-). I'll just wait patiently until that part of you surfaces.
Here's the deal with me. For several years it was all I could do to keep myself going. One of the ways I realized I was getting better was that I was able to reach out to others and actually care what happens to them. I have some extra energy to spend on caring. That is a huge milestone for me. So, don't think I'm wasting my time writing to you or caring what happens to a stranger on the internet. I do care because we've all opened ourselves up to it by this anonymous vehicle here on this web site.
You say bum and mum - you must be British or Canadian or maybe Australian? Someday I'm going to travel to those places. That is another sign that I feel better - I pretty much think I believe that I'll have a future. How's that for positive thinking?!?!?
Take care, eat some lunch or dinner, depending on what time zone you're in, and know that some of us sincerely care and do believe that you can get better (cuz we have) :-)
~ Lynne
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>"I know you don't want to hear this, but GO, GO, GO!!!"
>
> No, no, no. Hee hee. Actually, the appointment is right now, and I'm still sitting on my bum at home. I feel better for having made the decision to stay home.
>
> "...need to let others care for you for a little while"
>
> I'd prefer not, if you don't mind. I've been "cared for" enough. I allowed hubby to care for me by strangling, smothering, hitting, throwing things at, yanking, pushing, yelling, threatening, humiliating, shooting a gun off by me in our livingroom, and by him and his buddy holding me down once and shooting me up with their lovely little recreational drug. No thank you. I don't want to be cared for. And when the "good" people want to lock me on a unit and take away my privacy in the bathroom.....I think I have to walk away from that type of caring as well.
>
> I don't mind being there for others, but I don't like being "cared for".
>
> Time to wash the dishes.
>
> Sandra
>
>
>
poster:LynneDa
thread:327575
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040414/msgs/336289.html