Posted by SandyWeb on April 13, 2004, at 8:51:22
In reply to RE:: Sandy - idea » SandyWeb, posted by LynneDa on April 12, 2004, at 11:53:37
Hi Lynne,
"You must be feeling somewhat better if you got your hair cut"
Nope. It's just that I hacked my hair with a pair of scissors, and let me tell you....I'll never pass the Beauty Dresser's Exam! Lol! Anyways, I went to a professional and got it cut SHORT....now I don't have to think about it anymore.
"I'm just curious, are you not wanting to take meds anymore or just can't get the right mix (I can't remember from your earlier posts)?"
I quit the meds because, being that I was suicidal, they obviously weren't working. I just can't stand medications anymore. I don't want to see another pill in my life.
"Take care and keep taking those walks with Carly."
Hmmm....the walks seem to get me in trouble. Lol! When we took our evening walk, I decided that it would be neat to walk over the bridge that spans our harbor. I'd never done that before, only crossed in vehicles. So we took it real slow....feeling the bridge swaying, looking over into the water, watching the sun set, looking at the construction of this huge bridge, etc, etc. It took about an hour to cross to the other side, when it should only have taken about 20 minutes at a quick pace. Well, the bridge cops had to come after us, of course. They had been watching us on the cameras, and approached to find out if everything was okay. Guess they thought I was going to jump. Just would have ruined everyone's day, I suppose.
Anyways, haven't been doing well yesterday or today. I can't really say that I'm suicidal, but I did discover the joys of a razor blade yesterday. I've never used one before. Pain-free. Talk about a release from these darn emotions that are building up! And I can hardly stand to be around my kids now....I'm snappy. I don't know what the pdoc is going to say to me tomorrow, but it's only an assessment interview (haven't I had enough of those already???).
Anyways, just hanging on till tomorrow.
Toodles.
Sandy
poster:SandyWeb
thread:327575
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040406/msgs/335874.html