Posted by fallsfall on March 29, 2004, at 6:40:22
In reply to Re: Rod... Oooops... Didn't know!, posted by geri122 on March 28, 2004, at 19:54:49
I know you are embarassed. But people can't help you if they don't know what the problem is.
How strong is your friendship if you can't tell her that she has hurt you? If you believe that she really is a true friend, you should be able to talk about this.
Geri, You need to share with someone. I can tell that posting here help you - and please continue to post. But Babble is NOT a replacement for a local, real, live support system.
Human beings are community oriented creatures. That is how we survive - by leaning on and helping each other.
Sure, your embarassed. All of us are. None of us don't have things that we hide and don't want to tell. But I truly have found that having someone (anyone) else who understands what life is like for me is incredibly calming. The things that you are embarassed about (at least what you have told us) are not so weird and unusual. But they are painful. There is NOTHING embarassing about needing someone to understand you. EVERYBODY needs someone to understand them. Just start small and give someone the chance to show you that they are on your side.
You could start by talking to your teacher and asking her about confidentiality. Ask her what she would do under certain circumstances, and then list some things that apply to you and some things that don't. Like ask her what she would do if you told her you were shoplifting, or that you were into drugs, or that you were really depressed, or that all your friends were leaving you, or that you felt too embarassed to talk about what is bothering you, or that you were having sex with guys you don't know. Make up a great list - put some outlandish stuff in the list so that she knows that some of it can't be true - then she won't know where to draw the line between what could be true and what isn't.
Geri, sometimes we have to decide that we need help more than we need to keep from being embarassed. What is the worst that could happen if you talk to your teacher? If you've only asked hypothetical questions, or talked about your friends not talking to you anymore - what is she going to do? Call your parents and tell them that your friends aren't talking to you and that you have a vivid imagination? I don't think she would do that. But even if she did, your response is that your friends aren't talking to you. That you are 16. And you were testing to see how she would handle confidences - and she flunked. That doesn't seem so awful to me. Does it to you?
It is more likely that she will listen and care and maybe be concerned, and ask some questions that you can refuse to answer. And then she'll say that if you want to talk more, that she would be happy to listen.
You need to take that chance. The pain of embarassment is LESS than the pain that you are feeling now. It is scary to take that leap and trust someone, but I REALLY think that you will feel better if you do.
I'm sending you strength and courage. Keep in touch.
poster:fallsfall
thread:284151
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040324/msgs/329742.html