Posted by pegasus on February 8, 2004, at 21:44:02
In reply to hard choices, posted by 8 Miles on February 8, 2004, at 19:36:09
I agree with GG that the legal definition is not what Anya really needs to worry about right now. The main thing is to get support, and it would be really good to talk to a rape crisis counselor and/or therapist.
And yet, I feel obligated to mention that saying no is not required for a legal definition of sexual assault in most jurisdictions. Also, there is no legal separation of "date rape" and "sexual assault rape" as 8 miles implies. The critical thing is just whether it was consensual. If not, it's sexual assault, whether you were on a date or not. The only excuse for nonconsensual sex is if the initiator had some reasonable grounds for believing it was consensual. For example, if the non-initiator actually said "yes", and wasn't being forced or drugged or something.
Really, IMO, in a perfect world, it should be incumbent on the person initiating the sex to establish that the act is consensual. Just not hearing a "no" doesn't seem good enough to me. What about asking for a "yes"? Nicely and with patience? And hearing her if she says no?
Ok, off my soapbox now. Thanks for being supportive 8 mile, and recognizing the scourge these kinds of actions are on our society, both male and female.
- p
poster:pegasus
thread:310799
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040131/msgs/311076.html