Posted by Kath on February 10, 2004, at 9:29:19
In reply to Re: hard choices, posted by Anya on February 9, 2004, at 1:10:49
Just the fact that this happened last Easter shows how traumatic it was for you.
Don't get into your head about what did I say; what didn't I say; how would he know; - all that stuff doesn't matter hun. The fact is that you said 'no' outside AND you resisted having your head pushed. He doesn't have to be a brilliant brain surgeon to understand what those 2 reactions on your part mean!!!!!!! Also - you didn't ask to be pushed into a laundry room without a light. You asked to use the phone!!!!!!!
What matters is that you didn't feel okay about it. AND that it is still traumatic & unresolved.
Good for you, for talking about it.
It really does need to be resolved. You need some professional help about this. The various suggestions made here are valid.....help doesn't need to be sought right at the time of the event. It's so wonderful to have men offering you kind support & their suggesitons, as well as women.
Please seek professional help around this event. You need to heal. As I said, the fact that you still feel DREADFUL about it speaks loud & clear that you still have a lot of pain about this. You deserve to have the help to heal this.
> thanks for replying. after i used the laundry i did not say no. i did not say no when he held down my head. i think i resisted, tho. it all happened last year around easter. i question my recollection. wonder if ive made it worse in my head than it was.
> other than resisting him pushing my head and saying no outside, i doubt i gave any indication of no. how could he know to stop if i didnt say? so legally i know its not rape. i wouldnt report it. as elle said rape is a serious allegation.
> its all confused. maybe i was drugged? maybe i just did not make the brave or right choice.
> thanks for listening, replying.