Posted by LynneDa on December 16, 2003, at 15:19:29
In reply to Re: Saturday, posted by geri122 on December 16, 2003, at 14:52:28
Feeling unimportant and not knowing who you are and how you fit into the family and your world - that is common to us all - and you should try to write about it :-). I know it is especially hard right now since you're in between being a kid and an adult! And you also have the whole hormone thing to contend with - that affects your emotional and physical health tremendously.
But, sweetie, be relieved by the fact that knowing who you are is a life-long journey - it's not a destination! Try to take each situation as it comes along - think it through and decide who you are and what you believe for that moment in time. You don't have to have all the answers just yet. You are still collecting experiences and in the building stage!!
I'm sorry to hear he blames you for so many things. That is emotional abuse and it is just as real as physical abuse. I always considered myself a strong person, but my ex-husband was very emotionally abusive and it finally tore me down to a nub. I felt stupid telling my friends I wanted to leave him. He didn't hit me or run around on me and he was always kind to me except when he was depressed, angry, manic or drinking too much!
Are you the stronger between you and your twin? I guess you can't talk to her about this or you would have already mentioned it. People actually have a tendency to pick on people who are strong in some ways because strength can come across as defiance and defiance is seen as provoking - even when the defiance came as a result of your Dad's behavior and not vice versa.
I hate to suggest this cuz it is not healthy, but you almost have to learn to walk on eggshells around him, so to speak. But, be aware you are doing it and since it is a CHOICE you will make, maybe it will give you some feeling of control.
It's hard growing up. Your Dad is human and it's doubtful he knows how much his behavior and lack of caring, or even bad manners toward you, is harming you. Where does your Mom weigh in on all of this?
poster:LynneDa
thread:284151
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031207/msgs/290628.html