Posted by jane d on December 10, 2003, at 15:45:06
In reply to Not that I wasn't expecting it, but..., posted by Penny on December 10, 2003, at 13:57:37
Penny,
I'll try to write a better response later but I hope to catch you while your still at a computer. The same thing has happened to me more than once. It does happen and it's not your fault even tho it feels like it is. Try to hold on to that thought.> And, really, it makes me want to go home and take a handful of pills and say to h**l with it. I just don't think I can do this anymore. I know I deserve for him to be upset with me. He's been nothing but patient, and, yet, I can't seem to get anything done. And I knew this was coming. I KNEW IT. Yet, I continued to put off and put off.
Yes. I do that too. And I can never understand WHY I can't just do the stuff. Or how other people can. Until I'm feeling better when suddenly it becomes so much easier and I realize that not being able to do my work was not an inherent part of who I am. Or of who you are.
>
> I can't do this anymore. My T says not to say that I "can't." But I can't. There has to come a breaking point, and I'm almost there. And no one knows how to make it better. Because it's an internal problem - it's MY problem. I AM the problem.It's your problem. Yes. But you are not the problem.
> What am I going to do??? Call my therapist? Call my pdoc? So they can say what?
I don't know. This too shall pass? It never comforted me much, especially since at the time I never believed it. In the case of your pdoc maybe it's not what he says but what he does. Make him realize how serious this is. And that he needs to be as agressive as he can be with medication.
> Something is seriously not right with me, and I know it, but I don't know what to do about it.
See above. And ask for help. It's the hardest thing to do but it's also the ony thing to do.
Keep us posted.
Jane.
poster:jane d
thread:288437
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031207/msgs/288498.html