Posted by cybercafe on October 25, 2003, at 13:05:44
In reply to Re: I love this thread :) » cybercafe, posted by Susan J on October 21, 2003, at 10:47:38
> > ug... i came off a bit wrong there.... i was more interested in knowing things like, damn, when do you start to hold hands, not the more private stuff...
> <<Sorry, I misunderstood. Having never been the aggressor in a romantic courting, I really don't know about any of the steps a man takes, what signals he wants, and all that...now that i'm on parnate and feeling better, it seems so much more natural to be aggressive and just say "you should be holding my hand now" rather than worry about whether or not what you are doing is right........... when your mental health is good, everything is easy
when you're manic, everything is very easy (cybercafe wishes he was manic again)
> >>but dont' mind me, i'm starting a new antidepressant in about 2 hours so i'm sure my insecurities will be replaced with unrelenting self-confidence :) <counts down the minutes to parnate>
> <<Can I have some of that? :-)hey you can't beat the MAOIs... sure go out and get yourself some...... once you go MAOI, you never want to go back :)
> > hmmm..... i'm going to have to start working on a plan to find out which girls are more affectionate before i spend a lot of time getting to know them..... i'm thinking asking them might be the easiest way :)
> <<After having a boyfriend for 4 years who was *not* affectionate in the least, I totally specified that trait in my personal ad. Most guys who care about that usually say to me, *I'm really affectionate and love holding hands and cuddling and stuff, how about you?*that's cool...... i am learning a lot from your examples, thanks sista :)
> FWIW, my now ex boyfriend has turned around completely, loves to be affectionate, and his current girlfriend *hates* it!
haha.... i guess we all want what we can't have :)
> > coool... i love this advice... if we could spend 5% of the time discussing relationships that we do discussing meds we would be experts!
> <<You know, I am very impressed with men (people in general) who can articulate what they feel and what they need and what they like. It makes life so much easier. Tell the prospective date you are affectionate, want this this and this, whatever. She'll respect you for being honest, even if she doesn't agree with everything.and it just comes off as more confident and ambitious and successful (?) when you are the type of person who knows what they want and goes after it
> <<I think it's human nature to put something in your ad to make sure you don't get exactly what tortured you the most in your last relationship. :-) And these guys probably had depressive, mean, whiny exes and it drove them nuts. Just like I don't want a guy who's *not* affectionate, and I don't want a guy who worships at the alter of the almighty dollar. :-)
i think we guys need validation for our career and life choices, and that often comes in the form of money ..... but then you were talking about extremes weren't you? like you knew someone who wanted a guy making $100+k .... (that actually probably wouldn't be too hard - there are a lot of lonely rich guys or rich guys with low self esteem - unless you want someone who makes $100+k plus is confident plus has an active social life)... yeah that seems kind of crazy, i thought most women would be happy with $50,000 or so american
> <<Hahah! Actually, I know I have a lot to offer. My only hesitation is about my looks which I don't feel that confident about. That's why having my picture on the service makes it easier. Guys see me, and still contact me if they think I'm attractive....
exactly! it's cool that you are upfront about "this is who i am" .... it is very attractive when people are confident with themselves
> >> nah there is no way i can go out with anyone until i get over this washout period .... less than 2 hours before i start parnate though..... yay parnate!
> <<Good to know yourself that well. When I was horribly depressed, I so badly wanted a boyfriend because it would have been nice to have someone there who cared about me, who would look out for me, and all that. *That* feeling makes you almost desperate, and I did end up with a total wacko. Now, I'm just looking for a partial wacko who's wackiness fits in with mine....yeah i felt that way.... just wanted someone to be affectionate with... to share things with.... but when you are a guy and you are desperate there's like no chance :(
thank you parnate :)
> P.S. Good luck with the parnate. How long before that drug starts to work?
thanks :)
starts to work immediately, takes about 3 months to reach full, stable effect
poster:cybercafe
thread:270019
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031020/msgs/273123.html