Posted by Tabitha on August 28, 2003, at 11:51:38
In reply to fallsfall, posted by kara lynne on August 28, 2003, at 1:22:14
KL, what your counselor did was so smart-- there are moments when you KNOW it's over, and things can get muddy later, but those moments never go away. When he said those things, it was a fatal blow to the relationship for you.
I can remember such moments in my marriage-- actually the most decisive one came BEFORE we were married. He was responsible for my cat when I was out of town, and the cat was sick and neighbors found it and called, the cat was crying loudly, but instead of picking it up that night he left it til morning and the cat died in the night. But the really bad thing was, he didn't seem to be very sorry at all, and couldn't see that he did anything wrong by leaving the cat til morning. If he had been taken to the vet immediately he could have been saved (the cat had urinary tract blockage). After that happened I KNEW there was something very very wrong. But I married him anyway. In hindsight I can SEE it was over for me then. I had seen things in his character that I could not accept, and I could not forgive his actions.
I suspect your ex truly does miss the support and validation you provided for him. But it doesn't mean he's changed in terms of his ability to be a good partner for you. Stay strong.
poster:Tabitha
thread:253655
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030818/msgs/255044.html