Posted by bozeman on February 22, 2003, at 13:39:16
In reply to Re: Sleep is making me sick now.-Beardy Ginjoint, posted by Dinah on February 22, 2003, at 10:39:54
Dinah -- I am so sorry you are going through this. I can relate on so many levels. The high-paying job, that pushes you to push yourself to illness to keep it, (with the only plus side to that being that at least I have health insurance and sick pay to carry me through the inevitable crash) -- the self-induced hypomanic state so you can squeeze more hours and minutes of "seeming" productivity out of the day (but I'm not so sure it's really productive, even thought it feels like it at the time, because of the time it costs me in recovery, and I suspect you are the same) -- the brother-bowing-out-and-leaving-you-with-the-primary-parent-caring-burden-but-you-don't-live-close-enough-to-do-it problem, that I still don't see an answer to -- and the ever-present rolling rock at your heels. Boy, do know that one, too. My only way of dealing with that one is either ego or denial (and I'm not saying it's a good way, by any means) -- challenge it "Ha!! Catch me if you can, sucka!" or ignore it "Rock? What rock?"
My point is, I am SO sorry you are in this much pain and stress right now. I can't help directly (believe me, I'm the kind of person that avoids my own pain by taking on others', so if I could I would) but I can offer empathy and support. You're amazing, and you're a rock for everyone else in your life.
I put an idea out over on Faith for when you (and the rest of us) have time and energy to pursue it. None of us do, now, but it will still be there for whenever we have the energy.
Please take care of yourself, dear. If twice-a-week therapy is what you need, then continue it. Ginjoint is right about the sleep thing, I've found. When you've pushed yourself to that point, it takes a while to re-integrate normal "deep" sleep without feeling like a truck ran over you. Sofa-sleep sounds like a nightmare to most folk, but it could be just what you need to get through the meanwhile.
Isn't it sad, and really weird, that sometimes the most complete understanding and empathy we find is with a (virtual) stranger. At least, that's been my experience. :-)
bozeman
poster:bozeman
thread:202723
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030215/msgs/202847.html