Psycho-Babble Social | for general support | Framed
This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | List of forums | Search | FAQ

Re: be good to yourself? » Dinah

Posted by bozeman on February 23, 2003, at 23:30:46

In reply to Re: be good to yourself, posted by Dinah on February 23, 2003, at 18:12:32

Not that I recommend this course of action, but you asked what I do to deal with the "overwhelmings", so here it is:

I refuse to answer the phone (I have machine at home, and voicemail at work.) I can return all relevant/urgent calls, and delete the rest. If it's reeeeally important, they'll try again, later, when I can handle it better. And I can screen at work with the digital display, so I can still answer when my boss calls. :-) You'd be amazed (I was) how many people, who call you in the course of a day, don't leave a message, they just move on to someone else who answers their phone. So I avoid a ton of stress this way. If someone else could help them, why the heck did they call me in the first place???!

PS. This applies to my family, as well. If they are being ridiculous, which sometimes happens, I let them leave messages and only return the "real" calls. They've learned over the years that I will do this and will not toleate being dragged into their stupid games as I do not have the excess energy. Ruthless, yes, but it's the best I can do, and our interactions are much better, for it.

I cut off all other obligations except work, sleep, and pay bills -- cancel all stress-inducing outings. I go to church if weather permits, as I enjoy that, but don't risk my life if the weather's bad. I get someone else to do shopping for me (I have a wonderful roommate.) Keep cutting back until I feel like I can handle it, and I call in sick to work if I need to. I used to think that I was only making it worse missing work, as I'd have that much more to do when I get back, but over the years I've learned that I'm not productive when I'm in that state anyway, can make mistakes that cost us tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars, and that my work is important enough that people will wait on it, since no one else can do it. (but I don't have kids or husband, so this would be hard for you, I know)

I had to learn, the *hard* way, that if you consistently go above and beyond to produce miracles, it's no longer viewed as above and beyond, it becomes expected. The only way that my employer keeps perspective on how special my work and dedication really is, is that I pace myself and take a day off if I need to. It's true, no one can pick it up and finish for me. So I have to make sure I don't get down so far that a day or two off won't fix whatever ails me. (if that makes any sense)

I pray a LOT

Eat lots of chocolate and drink lots of DECAF.

Don't know if that's what you were looking for, but that's what I do.

God bless you, Dinah, and I hope you get some relief soon.

bozeman


Share
Tweet  

Thread

 

Post a new follow-up

Your message only Include above post


Notify the administrators

They will then review this post with the posting guidelines in mind.

To contact them about something other than this post, please use this form instead.

 

Start a new thread

 
Google
dr-bob.org www
Search options and examples
[amazon] for
in

This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | FAQ
Psycho-Babble Social | Framed

poster:bozeman thread:202723
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030223/msgs/203235.html