Posted by IsoM on January 10, 2003, at 12:59:19
In reply to Re: its not lack of safety to me, its lack of sense » gabbix2, posted by mikhail99 on January 10, 2003, at 11:52:35
Tabitha, I'm hoping the subject line caught your attention enough to read this.
I think the written form of communication on the internet is one of the worst way of expressing how we feel. You didn't err with your posts. And I feel that most times others didn't mean to either. I'd like to explain.
Because we come from such different backgrouds, experiences, mental/emotional states, & even cultures, something said by a poster, trying to express themself as best as they can, may mean an entirely different thing to a reader. It's frustrating for all concerned. And as you know, hurt escalates from there & doesn't seem to stop.
In over 30 years of adult life, I've got to know & have dealt with many people from different cultures - Japanese, Chinese, Korean (& each one is very different though all Oriental), Lebanese, Egyptian, South African (both white & black), Indonesian, Latin American (from a number of diff Central & South American countries), Punjabi (East Indian), native Indian (aboriginal), blacks from central Africa, Russian, Samoan (Polyensian), plus Europeans from Scandinavian down to Italian & Portuguese. It's unbelievable almost how different each one can seem but underneath, all have the same feelings, hopes, & disappointments.
I guess by trial & error, at first, then by specially reading about each person's cultures, mannerisams, idioms, etc, I've become pretty good at understanding people. I've had a Japanese woman say that I'm so Japanese compared to other Westerners. But then I had a lady from Vienna say I'm so European & onther from the Punjab say I'm so Indian. Latin Americans think I'm much like them. It's the ability to adapt & to take the best from each culture.
But there's no way I'd ever have learned without face-to-face contact. The internet is much too limited. I honestly think that many of us would really enjoy each others company if we were to meet face-to-face, even with those we seem to clash with. I honestly think that you & Alii would really like each other if you were to meet under better circumstances.
I don't even know if I have a point to this post. I'm saddened by the conflict & I HATE conflict. It's one reason that I post less & less here. I'm sure there'll be a point where I just don't bother any more. But I'd like you to know that the hurt & anger others feel probably wouldn't be there if we were to meet in real life.
poster:IsoM
thread:34965
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030104/msgs/34989.html