Posted by Tab▀itha on October 2, 2002, at 4:06:41
I have to make conversation with a guy in the coffeeshop. I keep seeing perfect opportunities and wrecking it by being just frozen with shyness.
Last weekend I sat next to a cute black guy who was reading the paper. He started yawning loudly, I think he was trying to get my attention. All I had to do was look over and smile, I think he would have talked to me, but I couldn't do it. Or I could have said "hey, you're making me sleepy with that yawning". But I just couldn't do it. I sat there for 10 minutes like a big dumb idiot and left.
The only time I'm able to talk to strangers like that is if I'm drinking. That's the whole appeal, alcohol obliterates my shyness and I get to talk to people.
My therapist says it's like jumping off the diving board. She asked me how I'll feel if in ten years my life is just the same and I haven't made any changes. What a godawful thought. So I'm supposed to talk to strangers. Yikes. It's taken me years just to get halfway comfortable chatting with the coffeeshop employees when I buy my coffee. I never talk to strangers. Never. I'm just too frozen. Yikes. Now I'm supposed to talk to them. It's my homework. Yikes. :-]