Posted by BarbaraCat on August 3, 2002, at 16:16:51
In reply to Re: Just don't like people anymore... » Gabbi, posted by libbyh on August 2, 2002, at 22:41:33
I went through many years retreating from people. Stopped all newspapers, didn't watch TV for years, cancelled all classes and appointments, didn't return phone calls or letters. Just couldn't get up the energy or patience to be with draining people, even if they were nice and perky. I just couldn't think of anything to say. It all seemed so superficial and I had so little energy to do much of anything. People seemed exasperating and wearing and so full of themselves. It really was time to retreat and reevaluate.
A few years ago I kind of woke up to the fact that I was lonely and disconnected after hibernating for so long, and was ready to start reaching out again. I'd see all these poignant examples of groups of friends out having a great time and I'd feel the apartness in my heart and gut. It went slowly because I had to decide who I really wanted to reestablish a connection with again. I began calling them. Once a week on some designated evening I'd pick one or two and just call and say hi, I've been away and would love to talk to you, even it meant leaving a message on their answering machine (I hoped I'd get their answering machine!). It was very awkward at first. I felt embarrassed and my social chatting skills were very rusty. But those who are my real friends came back quickly and others fell away. I'm now ready to find my clan, my pod, whatever. I dearly long for a close group of kindred souls who know me and I know them. Slowly, slowly, I'm developing a new group of friends based on discernment and how I feel around them. But while I was in retreat, that's what I needed. You can't force it.
I think the prozac is definitely contributing to this malaise and you should talk to your doctor about it. It's a pretty common side effect of SSRIs. But maybe you need a breather from the hoi polloi to hear your own thoughts for awhile.
poster:BarbaraCat
thread:27799
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020728/msgs/27964.html