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for Anna Laura

Posted by IsoM on March 6, 2002, at 19:34:36

In reply to Re: PLEASE DON'T LEAVE, posted by sar on March 6, 2002, at 17:21:35

Anna Laura, I'm going to answer your e-mail you sent a couple of weeks back. I've not been able to use the computer during the past 2 weeks & I need to sit & think to write a thoughtful reply to you.

That cleared up (in case you wondered why I hadn't written back yet), please take other people's messages lightly.

All too often, a person will write a thoughtless reply not intending to hurt, but full of daggers for us. Many people mean to be kind but have no idea of the hell others have lived in & say all the wrong things instead. It's the difference with the English words 'sympathise' & 'empathise'. One may sympathise with another's situation but have no idea of what it feels like, how brutal it can be. Those who empathise are the ones who can truly 'feel' the pain too. A lot of people try to extend sympathy to others but few people feel empathy for others. It requires taking on another's suffering & it generally means that one has had to suffer too. It's a fairly rare quality, I've found.

I know from personal experience, that when one is in pain, trite cheery messages feel like salt & vinegar in an open wound. They're better left unsaid. I, too, would hate to see you go. You bring a perspective to us all from a very tragic background. You help others & I hope, we can help you sometimes too. I value your opinions highly.


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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020305/msgs/19427.html