Posted by sar on December 11, 2001, at 12:55:16
In reply to Sorry Sar, posted by mair on December 11, 2001, at 11:43:35
dear Mair,
thanks for your reply. i've always been taught to stand on my own, never be in debt, so i'm terribly frightened of bad credit, especially because i need to buy a car,
i can't think of another job. i know that waiting tables can bring in some dough, but i don't have the mojo for carrying large trays without dropping them (i've tried).
this is a job i know i can do. it frightens me because it's not positive--like the bookstore helped me psychically--but my mind has got to be on money now.
i couldn't be a cubicle dancer because i can't really dance! stripping has nothing to do with dancing ability....
i've already spent hundreds on a strip-outfit, shoes and jewelry, so i feel compelled to do this, especially since i've scored the job.
i don't think i'll post on this for awhile. i appreciate the concern, but an old friend of mine once called me a "tough cookie." and somehow i am. reboundful and resourceful. he used to send me alot of Alice in Wonderland stuff--the girl who went through horrors but retained her fair Brit manners throughout--
and to give myself credit, that's how i feel. frightened and already very wary, but there's this quote from Charles Bukowski that sticks in my head: "What matters most is how you walk through the fire."
i suppose i'm a bit like Bukowski, i don't feel good unless unless i feel bad.
and this sounds horrible, but i want to maintain some sort of decent standard of living.
i feel strong somehow.
thanks for reading...
sar
poster:sar
thread:15296
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011207/msgs/15345.html