Posted by Greg on December 4, 2001, at 14:17:36
In reply to Re: At a crossroads - Greg Dinah, posted by akc on December 4, 2001, at 13:45:29
> I guess part of the question is suitability. I've talked to my pdoc. I'm not to the point of suicide that I need hospitilization -- there is no danger of that while my mom is alive. But my pdoc will not give me the "good" stuff -- I'm a recovering alcoholic and she is very strict on that line.
>
> The thing with my T -- well with all of my T's for that matter -- is whether I trust them. I want to cut -- to escape these feelings, to dissociate. But just one look above at the thread on cutting -- what condemnation you can get for such behavior. I don't think my therapist is condemning my choices -- she just doesn't think I can get well if I keep making them. I just don't think I can stay alive without them. I am really miserable at this very moment. Horribly so. But I have said that, what, a dozen times in the past few days.
>
> You and greg are right -- I do need to stay safe, somehow. It is just a matter of how.
>
> Greg -- while work is supportive, it is a matter of degree -- I do need to work some -- we are knee deep in work and they wouldn't understand hospitilazation right now unless it was physical (or if I could have my computer hooked up so I could keep working!).
>
> akcakc,
I'm in recovery too, 14 years in January. It's funny, but me and my psych look at things differently with the treatment of my depression. We see it and my sobriety as separate issues. I guess it's a point of view thing. I really feel that if I allow my depression to spiral out of control, at some point in time I'm going to drink. And if I drink again, I'm going to die. Or worse, maybe I won't. So I do whatever it takes.
I hope you know that I don't condemn you because you cut, I just don't understand why you do it. I don't understand how it benefits you. And I'm not asking you to explain. I accept that it makes you feel better, but it will always puzzle me.
I posted my e-mail to you the other day, I check it often when I'm home. Please feel free to write me anytime you want, I will write back. You've got a friend if you want one.
Greg
poster:Greg
thread:14884
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011130/msgs/14892.html