Posted by akc on December 4, 2001, at 13:45:29
In reply to Re: At a crossroads » akc, posted by Dinah on December 4, 2001, at 13:36:11
I guess part of the question is suitability. I've talked to my pdoc. I'm not to the point of suicide that I need hospitilization -- there is no danger of that while my mom is alive. But my pdoc will not give me the "good" stuff -- I'm a recovering alcoholic and she is very strict on that line.
The thing with my T -- well with all of my T's for that matter -- is whether I trust them. I want to cut -- to escape these feelings, to dissociate. But just one look above at the thread on cutting -- what condemnation you can get for such behavior. I don't think my therapist is condemning my choices -- she just doesn't think I can get well if I keep making them. I just don't think I can stay alive without them. I am really miserable at this very moment. Horribly so. But I have said that, what, a dozen times in the past few days.
You and greg are right -- I do need to stay safe, somehow. It is just a matter of how.
Greg -- while work is supportive, it is a matter of degree -- I do need to work some -- we are knee deep in work and they wouldn't understand hospitilazation right now unless it was physical (or if I could have my computer hooked up so I could keep working!).
akc
poster:akc
thread:14884
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011130/msgs/14889.html