Posted by Wendy B. on October 10, 2001, at 22:46:33
In reply to vacillation and weirdness, posted by sar on October 10, 2001, at 1:24:43
oh, shit, sar, while everybody's on your case...
seriously, though. when i read the initial post, i thought:
1) she's drunk, and don't worry about it, she'll feel better in the morning, then:
2) she's drunk, and you better worry about it, cuz she hasn't even begun to stop, and maybe she'll score the H and off herself while she's drunk, no inhibitions...
3) she's not drunk and you really better start worrying.in each scenario i had to second-guess the situation, and i didn't much like it...
each time this happens, you get a lot of people jumping up and down and, as for me, pulling my hair out (not literally, but you know what i mean). what happens if/when you post something like that one day, and then we never hear from you again... what are we gonna do with that, huh?
and this is not to say: *don't* post when you're drunk, or don't post when you're ready to give it all up on living... because you need and deserve support. i just don't know when to *really* start worrying, and feel a little (eensy-weenie bit) jerked around...
sorry, what should i think? and don't tell me to stop worrying, cuz it's what i'm built to do, being half eye-talian... the other half bastard...
love ya,
W.
ps: and to you, too, susan -- i was the FIRST captain of the FIRST safety guard ever at our school! (miss privitera, if you're there, reading this, yes, it's me, wendy...) i had a very cool day-glo orange across-the-shoulder, clasp-at-the-waist belt, signifying my guard status. AND a silver 'captain' badge, which i had to give up after the first quarter, because they weren't going to let me be captain forever (cuz i'd *still* be doing it at age 41!), we had to vote on a new captain each marking-period, well, why hadn't they told me that before? just imagine my disappointment... one of many over the span of my little life...
> so i'm on the telephone with my wrong-side-of-the-tracks friend that i met in the psych ward over the summer, and i'm asking that he score me enough heroin for 6 people, when finally he gets to the root of the matter and suggests that we off oursleves together with a gun. i'm in the middle of explaining to him that i belive suicide is a solo mission and that i want an easy drug-induced death rather than blood and guts, whem my friend rolls up in her new car and we spend the evening shopping at the mall, and i buy i skirt even though i think that next week i'll let this psych-ward friend of mine score me enough drugs to die, and this isn't a message of alrm but rather, do you often feel this way?--here i am depositing my checks, brushing my teeth, clocking in; here i am with a great boyfriend and painting my toenails and buying new undeez but i want o DIE DIE DIE, and what is to become of me?
>
> lying in bed forever is too boring.
>
> do i stay or should i go...do i up my dose of neurontin, do i do this or that, i don't want my life to be a jigsaw mystery-solver when i used to have so many other pursuits...in grade 5 i was so psyched about life that i's shower and dress at night before i wnt to bed, so that in the morning i could just pop up and walk a mile to school to happily do my early-morning duty of being a safety-guard.
>
> what happens to the teenage brain?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
>
> oh
> oh so dramaticLLY YRS,
>
> SAR
poster:Wendy B.
thread:12327
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011006/msgs/12380.html