Posted by sar on October 10, 2001, at 10:57:37
In reply to vacillation and weirdness, posted by sar on October 10, 2001, at 1:24:43
i just woke up from a really hard sleep, i think i was grinding my teeth extra hard, and i just wanted to write DELETE DELETE DELETE! i was kind of 3 sheets to the wind while posting that, i'm not really looking for any answers, if we all didn't feel that way we wouldn't be posting on psb.
i think i just felt like posting something.
bjork is singing to me this morning and i've got my tea, i've dumped the a.m.'s 5 pills down the hatch and had some juice, i'm still around, i will still put on my shoes later.
yesterday was difficult because of the suicide propositions and also in the morning i was sentenced to 2 yrs probation and several thousand dollars worth of fines (all the money i've saved to replace what i lost in the housefire last year) and i thought i'd have to get some sort of sleazy job in a strip club to make all the money up real fast but this morning i just realized BREATHE BREATHE BREATHE, i don't have to work if i can duke it out with the folks for a couple more months, i can take loans out for college, i can live with simple things, like the good taoist i am supposed to be.
so in conclusion i've responded to my own questions, i don't *have* to work! my psychological condition is too precarious to risk on material things.
i think i needed to post this and embarrass myself publicly to work some of it out.
ramblin' sar
poster:sar
thread:12327
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011006/msgs/12342.html