Posted by susan C on September 29, 2001, at 11:26:52
In reply to suicidal pms, posted by sar on September 29, 2001, at 2:48:47
I guess now is my turn to give, to give you some back. 'give backs' I am not sure what it is I can give back, cept maybe just some time for you to read this. I don't know if I have ever been dressed to the nines but all of the other things, oh, maybe not the silk rope, either, but the thoughts, the premenstural timeing, the depair, the hopeless. Can you find one thing to hold on to? Some how to have the time go by? If you are actively planning and thinking suicide it is time to ask for help. Call your doctor. I keep saying this. Maybe, because when I feel this way, I need someone to tell me this. Sometime I have to be dramatic to get attention I need.
Oh, and a hot pad, or hotwater bottle...on your tummy
A concerned mouse, peeking out from under the bed
susan C> i've always been too depressed and distracted to keep track of (sometimes irregular) cycle. but right now i'm boalted, cramping, and obsessed with thoughts of going to the 24-hr Home Depot to buy the silky kind of rope.
>
> i thought i was doing okay until yesterday. i was lying exactly where i wanted to be, my new boy's bed, reading words from the Dali Lama, dressed to the 9's and ready to drink, yet all i wanted to do was lay there FOREVER and die, cut into my skin, cut cut cut, i've never been a cutter but this PMS shit is for real now, it's not just moody crying but suicidal sobbing and craving for slitted wrists, oh i feel so bad psoting this, but for the first time the idea of cutting my wrists doesn't bother me, and i'm pleased that i know how to do it up right, vertically and all, oh oh oh...
>
> pms...
>
> or mood?
>
> cool slit i wanna be ashes i wanna be ashes in the ocean rather than growing up i've peter-pan syndrome i can't stand up i can't can't can't stand up alone i want to whisper and walk barefoot for a reason, do you find being an adult fulfilling? to me it seems full if suicidal challenges, alcoholism, workaholism, annoying kids, wrinkles, accounting i can't can't do it i can't
>
> my gut hurts like nothing else, i think it's coming & that's why i'm all emotional and shit but how, how to gt through the next few days
>
> 'cos i think of silky white rope all day. isn't it pathetic? dramatic? why write abput it?
>
>
> shite.
poster:susan C
thread:11893
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010927/msgs/11908.html